Candice Brathwaite

Talk us through the writing origins, and your journey up to reaching this point as a best-selling novelist.

So I actually used to work in publishing. I was a marketing assistant at Penguin Random House. They held a competition, looking for people who didn’t have a degree or any connections to the publishing world. Because let’s be honest, it can be a very typically, iron gated type of place. If you didn’t go to a certain uni, or nepotism isn’t on your side, it can feel really hard to get into publishing. So way back in 2014, Penguin Random House launched a competition called the scheme –thousands and thousands of applicants for only four job roles and I was able to win one of them. What I really learned there though, is what I already knew, is that I didn’t want to market other people’s books. I wanted to be the writer having their book marketed. I clocked that, in 2013/2014, publishing was really leaning towards wanting to work with potential authors who had large social media followings. I was like aye aye captain so in a true Pisces fashion, one day I just quit and decided that I’m gonna go all in on building social media platforms that make me attractive to publishers.

It was a very roundabout way of doing things, but clearly it paid off because now we’re here on book number four. I Am Not Your Baby Mother: what it’s like to be a black British mother came out May 2020, and went straight into the Sunday Times bestseller list and sat there for six weeks. It really was one of a kind, it still is, at that time that book was the first ever book to be written by a black British woman about black British motherhood, to enter the British Library in May 2020. I think it kind of just blew the hinges off this idea that we should only want to hear about motherhood or parenting stories from typically white middle class women, or really slick parenting influencers – who either are really slick, or they’re really comedians or they’re trying to be comedians. I don’t know, I don’t want to judge. Admittedly, having my first book be such a success means that I have kind of just gotten away with now writing what I want. We’ve landed on Manifesto, and it feels like the easiest book I’ve ever written because it just feels natural, and like something I want to discuss, but being a black British author, you don’t get to do that the first time round. We really saw this inside the black square summer of 2020. Typically, publishing houses want stories from a woman like me that are trauma-ridden, that are about race, blah, blah, blah, I’m so bored and over it. I can say that though, knowing that it’s a privilege to now just, you know, get book deals to write exactly what I want to write.

Congratulations on “Manifesto”. What is the intention behind the novel?

The intention behind the book is to have a conversation about unlocking the life you deserve, whilst also leaving space for the fact that we are consistently told how to do this by middle aged white men who have a 20 pack. And they like to drink 50 Ginger shots a day. And it’s like Andrew Huberman. I don’t know Tony Robbins – insert white guy’s name here – the messenger behind manifesting our best lives, it really matters. And as someone who has dedicated the last 10 years to mastering this for herself personally, yet again – there’s a huge gap in the market for people to be having these conversations, who do not have an iota of the privilege of those that are typically leading these conversations, because I’ll tell you something for free, it is a lot easier to manifest your dream life when you are born in a body that the world respects or you are viewed as a traditionally pretty by Western society standards, or you know, you are able to flex nepotism or you know, certain people. What does really manifesting your dream life look like when you have none of those connections, that’s not your body type, the world doesn’t find you appeasing in that way. So that is the idea and the intention behind Manifesto.

What do you hope the book will achieve? What impact do you want it to have on its readers?

I want it to be like a warm hug to those who have had to sit on the fringes of not just society, but on the fringes of their own dreams, because they’ve not been given the space or sometimes people need the permission to admit that they desire something more or something different. The impact I want it to have on its readers is freeing, really freeing and really empowering. Also a bit, a bit of a slap around the face, a bit of a wake up, you know? Where is your time being wasted? Where Is there too much comparison? Where are you talking the talk, but not walking the walk? It is going to be a bit of a shake your sis on her shoulders moment, you know, snap out of it. Because it’s all well and good to do our affirmations and look in the mirror and do all of those things. What are the actual day to day physical practices we need to be doing to pull our dream life closer to us?

What can people expect for your LIVE UK tour?

Oh, my God, just vibes. A good old dollar of feel good…tears! A lot of tears. I don’t do it on purpose, I don’t seek to make people cry, but many people who come to something where I’m the headliner, they do end up crying. It can feel like very much a safe space. You can feel like the room has been edited to support you. So it is gonna feel somewhat cathartic, like a good old friendly hug, like a sis/bro link up, like chilling with family and almost like a shedding of skin. I hope people leave those events feeling empowered to take some next steps to themselves. You know, I like to dress up. So of course, there should be some banging outfits, good tunes too, just high vibrational activity.

What are you most looking forward to about the tour?

Meeting my audience, meeting my readers. This is my first ever book tour. That feels so insane to say – A Sunday Times best selling author. This is book number four. This is my first ever UK book tour. To sit down with my readers in this capacity is really, really important to me, because I am on stage a lot for various other things and for different projects. But there is a deep level of gratitude I feel for my readers, and I understand they occupy a completely different space. So to be able to go across the UK and be in communion with them like this, to meet my community in this way, I’m so, so excited.

Can you share a bit about your personal journey with manifesting and how it has shaped your life and career?

I came to manifesting, like I say in Manifesto, bruised and bloodied. My dad died really suddenly after complications of the common flu. So this is pre covid time, and I was just so grief stricken, and I was living in Italy, working as an au pair at the time. It felt like my peers had much more, and this is such a silly way to think now, given what the world threw at us, but it felt like they were in much more secure positions. I just felt like I didn’t have my life in any kind of order, and that life was swallowing me whole, and I remember my nan and grandad have quite a great home library, and my nan had bought The Secret, and I read that for the first time.

I just found it so magical and powerful and transformative, albeit looking back very, very simple, like entry level ideas about manifesting law of attraction, making your life better. That was sixteen years ago now, but definitely over the last eight years, I’ve really dedicated my life to working out what manifestation means to me, the laws, the practices, and just developing a way of working with manifestation that has helped me build a life that I really quite love, and it has shaped my life and my career in every single way. I think many would look at the span of my career, especially, in the last five years, and the things that I’ve been able to go on and achieve in that time, feels almost like a miracle. Manifesting, the practices, the laws and the tips and tricks I use, are now part and parcel of my life and career.

In your view, what are some common misconceptions about manifesting, and how do you address them in your approach?

The biggest misconception is that you wish for it and you just sit there and you wait, right? Or you do the vision board and you just look at it every day? Manifesting, it almost feels a bit like a trick or a lie, because actually the biggest part of manifesting is getting up and working, taking small steps towards this dream or this goal.

For instance, I use home ownership as an example in Manifesto, but I just never believed that I’d be able to be a homeowner. And I started to dream about this thing. I wanted to manifest it into my life. So one of the first practical things I had to do was actually find out what my credit score was. Do all those really dark, uncomfortable things. I had a draw, a debt draw, where I would just shove debt letters that were coming. I had to go through that draw, and actually add up all my debts, figure out how to get my credit score from very poor, to fair, to now excellent – I had to do the dirty work.

Manifesting is not easy, and it’s not just throwing a penny in a well and having wishful thinking. It’s doing the dirty, uncomfortable things that typically, for a myriad of reasons, we’ve been encouraged to hide from society, like you’re in debt, or your credit score is poor, or you don’t quite understand how the housing market works. Or, you know, food makes you feel good, and so you over eat in certain capacities. You’re an emotional eater, and that’s stopping you from getting to the level of health and fitness that you would like. It’s doing the uncomfortable thing. That’s the biggest misconception about manifesting, that it’s easy, that it’s just sitting down and having wishful thinking. No, no. I address it in my approach by just being frank. I say, no less than 100 times in Manifesto, if you aren’t going to use this book as more of a doing book than a reading book, absolutely forget it. This book alone, any book alone, no YouTube video, no book, no self declared self help Guru is going to change your life whilst you’re sitting in bed-rot. It just doesn’t work like that.

Have you started your manifesting practice with your children?

I haven’t, because I don’t want to force them to do things, although Richard is a huge fan of meditating. He does a mindfulness club after school where they spend an hour talking about mindfulness practices in an age appropriate way. He is all about sitting with himself. He has an invisible happiness bucket, and every day he’ll come home and he’ll empty out this invisible bucket and speak about all the things that made him happy. He will also go out of his way to always remind my or his dad that he is responsible for his happiness bucket, and first and foremost, he has to fill it up first. Wow, he’s six. They’re teaching me. Esme is very, very aware of how powerful her affirmations are, and her self-talk is. Let’s say, I’ll be going to the car park, and I hate parking in tight spaces. She’ll be like, “No, we’re not going to manifest it. We’re gonna think about there being enough space for you to park comfortably”. She just doesn’t entertain negative talk or negative self talk. So whilst I haven’t sat them down and been like, this is how you manifest this is what you should do, I think them just seeing me live so openly, like my crystals are always out. There’s always the smell of Paolo Santo in the house. There’s some kind of meditation music always playing. The first thing I do when I get up in the morning is I journal for three pages, they see this happen all the time. So I think it naturally becomes part of their manifesting DNA.

Your book focuses on the four pillars of Wellness, Wealth, Love, and Happiness. How do these pillars interconnect, and why are they essential for successful manifesting?

In my mind, these are the pillars that make up life. You want to be healthy, you want to have enough money to meet your needs and be able to share and do good for others. Everyone wants and needs love, and who doesn’t want to be happy. Those just feel like the four pillars that hold life up, and they all interconnect. You could have all the money in the world and be very, very sick. You can have all the money in the world and not be happy. You can be happy, but then be desperate for certain love connections in your life. They all intercept at one section or another. I think learning how to manifest in each pillar really well, makes you successful for manifesting overall, because those columns of our life consistently overlap, so I’m very careful with my words and my language. I would rather we focus on manifesting wellness first, before we just dive into manifesting money. Because, you know, getting your financial life straight doesn’t necessarily then mean that we can backtrack and focus on wellness. I’m very, very open about admitting that actually. There was a part in my life where I was just obsessed with manifesting wealth, manifesting more – more stuff, more money, more this. I’m now exhausted by it. It feels really safe and cool to know that there is a part of my brain that can turn on and stem a flow of abundance whenever I would like to do that, but I was ignoring love. I was ignoring happiness, and to my own detriment. So even though I can, especially in this cost of living crisis, understand that most people come to manifesting with just this deep, innate desire to not have to have the Leccy Meter in emergency all the time, that shouldn’t be the only pillar that we’re focusing on.

What advice would you give to individuals who feel that manifesting is not accessible to them due to their life circumstances or societal challenges?

There’s no other way to say this than I came up dirt poor. I am a dark skinned black woman in a society that never wants her…we literally have far right riots going on in the country right now as I record this. When it comes to the societal pyramid, I always say black women aren’t even on the pyramid. We are the stilts in the soil keeping the pyramid upright. It’s so rare that I’m confronted with a person who has more marks against them in terms of what society says, than a woman that looks like me, a woman that comes from a background that I do. Of course, there are women that look like me that come from the same backgrounds, and then also they’re disabled.

But you know, when it comes to having an example of someone who the world says should not be living a life of their desires, I think an image of Candice Brathwaite really is a testament to the idea of okay, how bad do you want this? Because everything outside my household, everything outside of this cocoon that I’ve built in my mind says that I’m not worthy of even entertaining the idea that I should have a life of my dreams. And so I would say to those people, the things you’re facing, it’s not that they’re not real. It’s just that you have to want to be the person you desire so badly that you learn to circumvent them, or in certain situations, you learn not to see them. And again, this isn’t to say tha they’re not real, but your self talk, your self belief, the idea that you are in control of designing a life of your desire has to be so all consuming that it almost puts blinkers on the current reality or the continued reality.

How does your approach to manifesting differ from traditional perspectives, and what makes it more inclusive?

I am so exhausted by reading books about manifesting, sitting through these 90 minute YouTube videos by people who are born in bodies that the world automatically offers them privilege, be it by Western beauty standards, by their race, by the fact they’re white and male, it’s just like, okay, the world is going to automatically roll out a red carpet for you in some instances where I’m not even going to be allowed inside the building, and that’s just based on what you look like, that’s just based on the school you went to, that’s just based on the boyfriend you had, that’s just based on the financial backing of your family.

What does it mean when you have none of those things going for you? And so I already think that by just showing up and writing a book like this pushes against those traditional perspectives, and I have always been forced to think about making life inclusive, because I’m always thinking about how life or conversation has been made inclusive for me. I’m always thinking about our black and brown sisters, someone wearing a hijab, people from different religions, people where you know a disability means doing a certain manifestation practice isn’t going to be seen as accessible to them. I am always thinking about ways in which to make it more inclusive, and sometimes I’m not going to like it, sometimes it does feel burdensome, because people will have sat through trillions of manifestation advice and books from able bodied white males who have not even taken pause to think about what it could possibly mean to think about manifesting if you are having to wear a hijab and if your mosque is under siege this weekend, and for me to have to also, to some degree, be held to account in that regard. Oh, well, you know, you are a person of colour…So I also sometimes think, am I setting myself up for failure? But you know, there are lots of thoughts going on right now.

What role do mindset and self-belief play in your manifestation process, and how can people cultivate these qualities in themselves?

To be honest, mindset and self belief are about 80% of it, you know, like how they always say it’s 80% diet and 20% exercise. That really is also the formula to describe manifestation. It’s 80% mindset and self belief and 20% affirmation, gratitude, meditation, all of those things. And the way I believe people can cultivate those qualities in themselves is through repetition. I always say mindset, self belief,  confidence, is like going to the gym. You have to take little stabs at it every single day. No one is necessarily going to go from being negative about themselves, not believing in themselves, to waking up the next day being high and full of self belief and a positive mindset. So it is doing tiny things, and I often use the example of how certain people feel that like they’re stuck in a style rut, or they don’t want to wear a certain item of clothing, because the reality is, when you get better and when you shine brighter, you’re more open to being perceived. People will notice you. We have been born and raised in a society, and typically in certain cultures, to hide, to shrink away, to not want to be seen, to not want to be perceived. And so many people also dress that way. They dress like they want to hide. They dress like they want to blend in, where deep down they want to wear bright colours or patterns or perhaps, they’re obsessed with the 70s, whatever it is they actually want to dress in a way that is going to, whether they like it or not, garner more attention.

So I often tell those people, there’s no need to go from wearing jeans and a t-shirt every day to a 1950s ball gown every day immediately to prove a point. You can start with a brooch that you acquired from a vintage shop that’s from the 50s. You can start to wear your hair in a certain way.

You can play with a certain tone of lipstick, especially makeup, because midway through the day, you can just wipe that off if you’re having heart palpitations. It is about having tiny stabs at it through the day, and then, before you know it, over the course of a year, the thing that used to give you the shakes you’re now very comfortable with and so mindset and self belief is exactly the same. It is driving to a place you’ve never driven to before. And I’m speaking from experience here, I can typically be so stuck in a rut when it comes to driving, because I used to be quite an anxious driver, so I never wanted to drive to new places. It’s once a week picking a new place to go and reminding yourself that you’re not going to fret about parking, you’re not going to overthink it, you’re just going to do the thing you know you’ve been trained to do. As time goes on, I’ve grown in self belief and a positive mindset. So easy does it, but you do actually have to do it.

You also have to rid yourself of people who talk down on you. I know that seems very obvious, but it can be a lot harder to do than we think, those people that make you feel bad about yourself or small about yourself, especially the ones that wrap it up in a joke. We have to cut those people.

Can you share a transformative experience where manifesting led to a significant change in your life?

Yeah, the house that I’m currently in. I manifested this house so hard, down to the window positionings and the two pillars at the front of my home. A couple of years ago, three, four years ago, I had this house on my vision board whilst living in an older house, not knowing how we were even going to afford this place, right? Lo and behold, we outgrew it. We decided to move. We put our house on the market at 10am by 10:30am it was off the market. Literally, a guy put a note through the door. He wanted to be the first to view it. He came in, and it was off the market within the hour.

So now we’re in panic mode, right? Because we’ve technically sold our house, and we do not know where we’re going. I had to go to New York for work, and so my husband Bodé was doing all these house visits, and he’s face timing me, and I’m just not in it, because every house he’s showing me is not the house on my vision board, and he’s getting super frustrated with me. He’s like ‘you know, you’re halfway across the world, you’re at work. I’m going to house after house. I can’t even put an offer in because there’s just no spark’. And I was like, ‘Dude, what do you want me to do? It’s just not the house’. I know what the house looks like. I came back from New York, and at 2am we got an alert on our phones. I sat bolt upright in that bed. I was like, there we go. This is what I was waiting for. It looks exactly like the house on my vision board. It was in the area that I had dreamt about. It felt so custom fit for me. I was like, ‘I want to see that house at 9am in the morning’.

We were able to view the house the next day, and it very much mirrored our own selling experience. The house was off the market within the hour. I like to talk about that example of manifestation, because one of the people I love the most, was vehemently against that manifestation, rightfully so because my husband is so logical. He did not have time for my big magic bullshit. He was like, bruh, we need a house, and you’re just doing the most. And when it comes to really designing the life of your dreams, 99% of the people that you know, if you dare to tell them your dreams and your goals, that is the attitude that you’re going to be met with because we have been coded to perceive everything through the eyes of logic. We leave no room for magic. We leave no room for serendipity, for kismet, for a miracle. It’s all, this is what it says on paper. This is the black and white. There is no other way. There are millions, trillions of other ways, if only you will leave yourself open to the magic of them being so. For me, it’s like holding in my heart and in my gut the importance of Big Magic, whilst not allowing the logic of others to downplay what I know is to be true. To round that up like I said, I’m sitting in this house right now, and even though I’m really grateful to be here, there wasn’t one strand of my DNA that didn’t believe it. As grateful as I am. It’s no shocker.

Can you provide examples of how your manifesting approach has positively impacted the lives of your followers or readers?

I shared this in the Manifesto book, but I had also shared it on socials first – I had sent myself Welcome Home cards to the house that I wanted to buy. I had my friends and family send ‘Welcome to your new home’ cards, even before we knew that house was ours. She followed that, and she went one step further, and she bought a new keychain for her house keys, like she did everything you’re supposed to do. She really nurtured that energy of it already being done and she circled the block and left a comment saying, ‘by the way, that whole sending yourself those welcome cards trick, I did it, and I’ve just signed off on my first house. Whilst, of course, other things are completely at play. That extra sprinkle of magic – thank you so much for that’. That’s a story that I keep close to my heart.

In what ways do you believe manifesting intersects with mental health and well-being?

When you see yourself getting positive results that you now understand to be part and parcel of your hard work, of thinking positively, expecting good to happen in your life. It just has a positive effect on your mental health and your well being. The two really, really go hand in hand, because, in a similar vein, it can be extremely difficult to manifest better for yourself if you’re currently suffering with poor mental health or poor well being, or feeling as though you are unworthy, that there needs to be space for that, also. It can be borderline impossible to think yourself out of a bad mood, to think yourself out of feeling less than worthy. But there are habits you can develop, a bit like building confidence. There are habits you can develop to start turning the dial on some of the things you tell yourself, and the more you see yourself quickly manifesting the goals, the dreams, what’s on the vision board you’re like, why would I feel bad about today? Because today is just another day of options and excitement and of anything could happen. And of course, it doesn’t start that way, but you do end up starting to seek the best for yourself.

What has been the most rewarding aspect of your work?

I’m going to be selfish. I mean, I’m in my selfish era. The most rewarding aspect of my work has been being able to look back at 20 year old me and be like, you were so freaking right. You were so right, to cut adrift, to believe in yourself, to just follow the vision that only you could see in the passion. Because on paper where I am currently at in my work life, it makes no sense. I think people had written me off before I’d even hit the metaphorical starting blocks. So to look back and just give myself that knowing head nod like yes, gurl, you really did that. You did that and I’m so proud of you, and also to see her look forward to me and be like, wow, I didn’t know it would be on that scale, I

had a feeling, but wow, you really did that. Oh, my God. And then, on a level, that is still selfish. It is about being, first and foremost, a representation of true self belief in my own home, to watch my children just think the way they think and expect the things they expect. I know that’s part and parcel of having a mum where they’re like, yeah, but anything that comes out of her mouth, she finds a way to make it happen so they don’t have those levels of self doubt I have. They don’t have these ideas about imposter syndrome. I get such a high from seeing them gain that from the work that I do.

And of course, the last thing is then, on a wider scale, to be able to be the kind of visual aspect of success of a woman that looks like me for my community, it’s really important. I don’t like to use the term role model, because no one should model their life off me. I swear to God. But I know that people have me on their vision board. I know that people are like hell, If Candice Brathwaite can do it, I must try a thing, that’s cool as well. I don’t like to lead with that, though, because then I feel like the ego can take over. But those elements, they just make me smile.

What Black businesses excite you most at the moment?

Well, you know, I’m a fashion girl, first and foremost. So I have so many. Brandon Blackwood- I love his handbags. There is a resort wear line called FeNoel. I don’t yet own any of her pieces, but she’s always front and centre of my mind when I think about how I want to look on a Greek holiday. My nail tech, Shea. Oh my gosh. I’ve been working with Shay since I was 19. She’s been doing my nails on and off for almost 20 years. That just feels so insane to say and to be able to trust someone implicitly. I’m now godmother to her youngest child. Our families are really tight. To support a black woman that runs her own business. She actually just recently did the nails for Cynthia Erivo, playing the lead role in Wicked. I’m so, so proud of Shay. I think when it comes to black businesses, we always think bricks and mortar or a business that operates with multiple employees. No, I really want to get into the habit of bigging up black businesses that are just run by one person, or they are typically just a black woman trying to get ahead. She’s amazing. My PA Leeanne is running Leave It With Lava! I recently worked with a stunning makeup artist, Jessica Williams (@jessicasmakeupchair) Absolutely incredible. She did my face for the front cover of Black Business Magazine. Just overwhelmed with how wonderful she made me feel and not just, of course, on the outside, but she really spoke kind, wonderful words over me. I could be here all day, but those are the people and the businesses off the top of my head.

How do you juggle your various roles – author, influencer, mother, advocate – and what strategies do you use to manage your time effectively?

I have a great PA. Shout out Leeanne. I think we bought Leanne on four years ago, and she’s completely change the game in terms of not just time and diary management, but enforcing certain boundaries, being ahead of the curve and telling an agent or a manager or a brand that absolutely can’t happen now because she is on holiday, that can’t happen now because the kids come first. I think sometimes, especially when you still live in fear of opportunities running dry, which they never will because we live in an abundant universe, but when you’re coming from, where I’m from, you can get into the habit of saying yes to everything, because it’s like, is this the last time they’ll call will they spin the block?

Leanne is such a physical reminder that if you want to work with me, you will either way, you’ll readjust, or you’ll spin the block or you won’t, and that’s okay too. Having someone who is very clear about my boundaries, in terms of scheduling and really telling me to put self care first, has changed the game massively. The other stuff I just don’t juggle well. I had quite an emotional conversation with my youngest the other day where he was just basically like, I don’t see you enough. I love my son, he’s just gonna cut it to me dry. He is not gonna dress it up. He was just like, you go from the gym to work, from the work to the gym. He was like, I want more. He used a specific word, I want more calming time with you. So I know that I’m off balance, and I can perhaps do too much in one area. You know, it’s too much of Candice the Writer, not enough as Candice the mum, too much of Candice the Influencer, not enough as Candice the person, very little time as Candice the wife…who isn’t struggling with that? If you are trying to hit it across the park in your life in general, you will naturally swing out of balance, and you will lose focus on what’s important. I really rate the fact that my children, my friends, and my husband are quick to be like okay, it’s very full over here, and we are heading for a drought over there. I really struggle to see myself as we all do, and so I think trusting people to tell me where I need to pull the reins in and pour more into myself is really, really important.